


Caffeinated Hipsters and Brewing Affections

by WillietheOctopus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coffeeshop AU, EriSol - Freeform, Humanstuck, M/M, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 08:47:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillietheOctopus/pseuds/WillietheOctopus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux works at a coffee shop with his roommate Aradia when he meets the most aggravating customer ever</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caffeinated Hipsters and Brewing Affections

**Author's Note:**

> Fic for Sophia (jay334). Will be multi-chaptered. Rated mature for later chapters.

                Although it was ringing loudly throughout the room, the alarm wasn’t what had woken Sollux up. Instead it was the sun pouring through his window and landing on his eyes. He was comfy. The light made his room look nice. It was a pretty golden colour, much better than its usual dullness with only the monitor of his computer lighting up the room. He was tempted to just call in sick, not go to work and actually enjoy the comfiness of his bed, get more than a couple of hours of sleep. He was tempted, but he couldn’t. That would leave only his roommate, Aradia, to be at work, meaning that she would have to take the orders, which wasn’t allowed due to their manager getting multiple complaints about Aradia terrifying them. As much as Sollux hated people and made it blatantly obvious, he had to be the one to interact with them.  
                “Sollux, when are you going to turn your alarm off?” Aradia complained, knocking on Sollux’s door in an attempt to motivate him to turn it off.  
                “When I’m damn ready,” Sollux said with a groan, rolling over and grabbing his phone, putting in the passcode and then holding the camera up and attempting a smile, that being the only way to turn off the damned thing. He regretted getting that app so much. He set his phone down and rolled onto his back. He could afford 5 more minutes of sleep, right?  
                “Sollux, are you out of bed yet?” Aradia called out through the door.  
                There was a slight pause before Sollux replied, “Yeah. Of course I am.”  
                “So then if I were to go in there right now, you would be getting ready for work?”  
                “AA, would I ever lie to you?” The door handle then twisted and Aradia came through the door, looking at Sollux and smirking, her hand on her hip.  
                “Apparently you would,” Aradia said, cocking an eyebrow at the boy still bed.  
                “You know, I think I know the perfect way to get you out of bed,” Aradia said with a mischievous grin, taking a step from the door and closer to the bed.  
                “Don’t you fucking dare,” Sollux said, narrowing his eyes at the girl who drew closer.  
                “What? Are you afraid?” Aradia asked, pulling her hands up and making “claws” out of her fingers.  
                “Afraid?”  
                “Afraid of the tickle monster.” With that, Aradia pounced on the bed and began to mercilessly tickle Sollux, laughing maniacally while doing so.  
                “AA, get the fuck off of me! I’ll get up and ready once you do!” Sollux said in between bursts of laughter. Finally, Aradia let up and climbed off of the bed.  
                “You have 10 minutes. If you aren’t dressed by then, who knows what the tickle monster will do?” Aradia said, tossing her head back with laughter before walking out of the room. Sighing loudly, Sollux got out of bed, groaning when both of his feet hit the floor, knowing that it was too late to retreat and just stay in his warm bed. He sat there for a bit, stretching and yawning, popping his neck and back, before finally standing up and walking over to his personal bathroom. It was pretty messy, but it was better than Aradia’s, who had clothes and products strewn about the floor. Sollux just had the occasional piece of clothing and towels all over the place. He grabbed his glasses and placed them on his face before grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste and brushing his teeth. Once done with that, he grabbed a comb and ran it through his brown hair. After his hair didn’t look as shabby and untidy as before, he looked in the mirror at his eyes. Unfortunately, they were still the same; one was auburn and the other blue. He wasn’t too fond of it. It always attracted the attention of others, just like his obnoxious braces and lisp that was caused by them also did. It was dumb. They were dumb. After a bit of self-loathing and society-loathing, Sollux stepped out of the bathroom and pulled on some pants and grabbed a shirt that didn’t smell too dirty.  
                “You ready?” Aradia asked.  
                “Almost. Just got to grab some shoes,” Sollux called back. Aradia shouted back an okay as Sollux rummaged through some papers on the ground to find his shoes. He slipped them on before grabbing his keys and wallet off his dresser and then walking out of his bedroom. Aradia was sitting on the couch, staring into a compact mirror as she applied her red lipstick. Her brown hair fell in a waterfall of natural waves, her brown eyes framed by thick black eyelashes.  
                “You keep yelling at me to hurry up, yet here you are doing your makeup,” Sollux teased.  
                “I thought it was going to take you at least 30 more minutes,” she retorted, finishing up with her lipstick and closing the compact before shoving both into her purse. Before long, both of them were walking out of the door and over to Sollux’s Dodge Stratus, the poor truck barely alive, but seeming as if it refused to die.  Sollux got in the driver’s seat, starting the ignition as Aradia got into the passenger’s seat, staring out the window at all the others in the apartment complex who were leaving to go to work. The engine of the truck sputtered and hissed a bit, but the truck started and soon Sollux was backing out of the parking spot and driving to work.

                Aradia and Sollux working together was pure luck, meaning that they could car pool to and from the coffee shop. Sollux parked his truck in his usual spot and both Sollux and Aradia climbed out, walking toward the shop.  
                “You going to be home tonight?” Sollux asked, turning his phone on silent, not daring to turn it off completely.  
                “No. Eating dinner with the boyfriend and his parents,” Aradia said, her statement drenched with fake enthusiasm.  
                “Cool. More instant ramen for me,” he teased, giving her shoulder a light push. Aradia stumbled a bit, but no damage was done.  
                “Hey, don’t start what you can’t finish,” she warned, grinning over at Sollux. The taller male rolled his eyes and opened the door for Aradia. They quickly changed into uniform and put on their aprons before going behind the counter, Sollux working the register and Aradia making the drinks. There was someone else there who was working the drive through, but Sollux couldn’t care less about that asshole.

                It was right after Sollux had taken some impatient business man’s order that a stupidly attractive hipster-looking man walked in. He looked dumb. Just right out dumb. His hair was brunette and styled in the most ridiculous manner, a bleached streak running through the front bangs. Over-sized glasses were perched on his long and narrow nose. A blue scarf was wrapped around his neck and purple earphones were in his ears that were decorated with a few piercings on the cartilage, 2 on the right and 3 on the left, and gauges in the earlobes. He was average height and rather thin, but had some muscles on him. He had one a long sleeved shirt and pants that were way too tight that Sollux had to wonder how the hell he was able to fit into them comfortably.  
                “Hello? Are you going to tell her what my order is?” the business man that Sollux was supposed to be serving asked impatiently, pulling Sollux out of his trance of judging the others outfit. Sollux glared before turning around and telling Aradia the order. She quickly began making the coffee as Sollux took the next order, some mom with what looked to be a soccer team crowding her feet. Sollux gave Aradia the order while grabbing the coffee of the business man from her, quickly turning around, opening the lid, and spitting in the drink before giving the drink to the man. That’s how things worked around there. Sollux took the orders and gave them to Aradia, then taking the drink that she had just made and delivering, not before spitting in it though if he felt that the receiver of the drink deserved. Finally, the stupid looking man walked up to the counter. Sollux held back any laughter and waited for the order.  
                “A café crema,” the male said, some sort of dialect intertwining with his words.  
                “Excuse me?” Sollux said, cocking an eyebrow, positive the other was a madman.  
                “You heard me. A café crema. It’s not that hard,” the other said with a sneer, rolling his eyes a bit.  
                “What the hell is that bullshit?” Sollux asked.  
                “An’ you call yourself a coffee shop,” the other scoffed, “Fine, just get me a mocha latte.”  
                “What size?”  
                “The largest you have.”  
                “What’s your name?”  
                “Eridan.” Sollux grabbed a cup and scribbled the name on there, not bothering to check to make sure it was spelled right.  
                “$6.73.” The other handed him a 10, almost walking off before adding something.  
                “Keep the change. You look like you need it.”  
                “Wow. A whole $3.27. Now I can finally go to college. My hero,” Sollux replied, sarcasm dripping in his voice. The two made eye contact and glared at each other and that’s when Sollux noticed them. Sea foam green. That was the only way he could think to describe them other than saying they were gorgeous. Gorgeous and infuriating. Someone who is such an asshole didn’t deserve such beautiful eyes. It wasn’t fair. Thankfully he went and sat down without saying anything else, leaving Sollux to give Aradia his order. Once Aradia was done, she handed to Sollux and he undid the lid, spitting not once, but twice into the drink.  
                “Drink at the bar for Erahdan,” Sollux called out, glaring over at Eridan. The man looked over, seeming to know exactly to whom Sollux was referring. He rolled his eyes as he got up and snatched the coffee from Sollux’s hand. He sat down at the table he was at before and took a sip of the coffee before pulling out a laptop, smiling a bit at the taste of the coffee, causing Sollux to snicker. Aradia noticed and playfully smacked Sollux’s arm, although she was laughing as well.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                The next morning was similar to the last, except Aradia wasn’t as merciful this time, making sure that Sollux got up.  
                “Be sure and take a coat. It’s supposed to be below freezing when we get off,” Aradia called out, putting a hat on and putting a large coat in her arms so that she would have it later. Sollux shrugged and decided not to bring one. Wasn’t like he was going to be outside for long. The two made their way outside and into Sollux’s truck, the vehicle coughing as it took them to their destination. Once inside, they put down their items and got their aprons on, going to where they always were every morning. It was about 5 minutes into their shift that Sollux spotted the bleached bangs of the asshole from the day before.  
                “Fuck me,” Sollux whispered under his breath as he got prepared to deal with the approaching male.  
                “I’ll have what I got yesterday,” he said, fishing the money from his pocket, not bothering to look up at Sollux.  
                “How the hell am I supposed to remember what you got yesterday?” Sollux asked, looking at the man across from him as if he was crazy. The patron sighed loudly and rolled his eyes before giving his order.  
                “A mocha latte in the largest size you have,” he said, putting a 10 down on the counter.  
                “Name?”  
                “Eridan an’ that’s spelled E-R-I-D-A-N.”  
                “Okay…?”  
                “You spelled it wrong last time,” Eridan explained.  
                “$6.73.” Sollux grabbed the ten and attempted to give Eridan his money back, but had the change refused.  
                “You keep it. You definitely need more than I do,” Eridan said with a bit of a scoff before walking to go sit down where he was at yesterday. Sollux grumbled under his breath about how much he hated that pompous and elite asshole. He grabbed a cup and wrote his name down, except spelling it “Airehdan,” snickering a bit at his misspelling of it. He spit in the cup before handing it to Aradia, waiting for her to finish making it before spitting in it again. Someone as spectacularly horrible as Eridan needed double the spit.  
                “Drink at the bar for Ahridan,” Sollux called out. Eridan sighed and got his drink, going back to sit down. Sollux stood there and waited, watching to see when the other would notice his name.  
                “Can I please get some service over here?” an impatient woman in a three piece suit asked, her question aimed at Sollux. He frowned at missing his opportunity to see the other upset at the misspelling, but still turned around to get her order, knowing that he couldn’t risk getting fired.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                “And then he gave me the change because I ‘definitely needed it more than him’,” Sollux said as he plopped down on to the couch, a can of cheap beer in his hand.  
                “But you do need it more than him,” Aradia said with a perplexed tone.  
                “I know I do, but he was an ass about it.”  
                “There are some days where you make absolutely no sense to me,” she said, rolling her eyes with a bit of a smirk on her face, bringing her cup to her lips, leaving a red lipstick stain on it as she pulled it away.  
                “Whatever. Like you’re any less of an enigma, AA,” Sollux said, sticking his tongue out at her after speaking. Aradia laughed ruffled Sollux’s hair a bit, not saying anything in response.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                “I want the usual,” a familiar voice with a familiar dialect that belonged to a familiar, horrible face said.  
                “You’ve been here twice. You don’t have a ‘usual’.”  
                “You remember me so why the hell would you not remember my drink?” Eridan asked, putting his hand on his hip.  
                “Because your dumb look burns my eyes so much that I can’t forget it, nor can I forget you stupid ass name.”  
                “My name ain’t stupid. It’s sophisticated an’ beautiful. You’re just jealous that yours isn’t as wonderful an’ brilliant.”  
                “Oh yeah. That’s definitely it.”  
                “Speakin’ a’ which, you still misspelled my name even after I spelled it out for you. Either there’s somethin’ seriously wrong with your brain or you’re just a fuckin’ dick.”  
                “Can you please hurry up? Some of us have somewhere to be,” a woman behind Eridan said, tapping him on the shoulder.  
                “You can wait your fuckin’ turn,” Eridan said, turning his head and sneering at the woman behind him before looking back at Sollux, glaring at the smug bastard behind the counter who couldn’t stop smirking at the fact that someone had told Eridan to hurry.  
                “A fuckin’ mocha latte please. Largest size you have.”  
                “$6.73.” Eridan once again handed him a ten and then waited patiently.  
                “What the fuck are you waiting for?” Sollux asked after a few seconds of Eridan just standing there awkwardly.  
                “I’m waitin’ for my change.”  
                “You’ve never wanted your change before. I figured I’d save myself some time from having to deal with your condescension.”  
                “You never seemed to appreciate my contribution so I don’t think you deserve it anymore.”  
                “Jesus fucking Christ. Make up your mind,” Sollux grumbled under his breath as he got the change for the other.  
                “Here, so that I have a clear conscience, here’s a dollar,” Eridan said, handing Sollux the dollar before walking off. Sollux glowered at Eridan as he prepared the cup for his drink. Once again, his misspelled his name, although this time making it a different misspelling: Earydan. He also decided to add the nice little note of “Go choke on a dick,” snickering a bit as he handed the cup to Aradia. Part of him was really beginning to enjoy messing with Eridan.

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, if you find a mistake, please let me know so I can fix it! Also, to keep up to date with this fic, track either #twonerdsfallinginloveovercoffee, #chba, or #caffeinatedhipstersandbrewingaffections


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